The banging on the door was loud and persistent. I could see the early
morning light beginning to take over from the darkness. I heard my mum
ask who it was and a deep, booming voice answered,
‘Ni Polisi! Fungua Mlango!’
My heart was beating louder than the booming voice and I felt sick with
dread. I felt like I was in a nightmare as I heard them explain to my mum
why they were there and I walked slowly into the living room.
I wasn’t thinking straight when I agreed to be his girlfriend. I had been
pining for him for so long that it felt like a brilliant idea then.
We were sitting close together on a red, checked Maasai blanket. It was by
a green field right next to the clear waters of River Yandi. We had been
sitting there for a couple of hours, his beautiful eyes looking deep into my
shy, love-struck ones as he told me the funniest stories. Maybe they were
not that funny but I was so in love with Taji. Everything about him was
perfect.
The sun was going down and he put his muscular arms around me as he
popped a juicy grape in my mouth.
‘You are the most beautiful girl in the world Mandi, I will give the world to
you if you let me,’ he said in his sultry and sexy voice. He lifted my face
gently by my chin with his forefinger so I had no choice but to look into
his eyes.
‘Will you be my girlfriend,’ he asked softly.
Who in their right mind would say no to this tall dark and handsome man?
His hair was thick, bushy, and long enough for her to run her fingers
through. She had wanted to do that for so long. His full lips opened up
into a dazzling smile, showing a perfect set of teeth; pearly white and all
evenly placed. God took his time with this one, I thought.
‘Yes,’ I whispered. His smile dazzled even brighter as he bent down and
placed a big wet sloppy kiss on my lips. I closed her eyes and let my hands
run through his hair for a fleeting moment.
He stopped and smiled at her. Did he want to kill me with that bewitching
smile??
‘It’s getting late girlfriend; we better go before your mother starts looking
for you. Can we do this again tomorrow? Your boyfriend needs you every
day,’ he joked.
‘Of course boyfriend,’ I joked back, ‘I want to do it every day until I die.’
‘With me, right?’ he said pulling her to her feet.
‘Hmmm maybe,’ I responded folding up the Maasai blanket I felt must
have been my good luck charm.
As we approached her gate, no longer holding hands because I did not
want my mother to appear and catch me in one of the seven deadly sins. I
did not trust even the darkness that had already set in. He stopped and
turned to me. This time his expression was serious and with a hint of a
frown. For a minute I forgot how deliriously happy I was.
‘Listen, Mandi, please don’t tell anyone about us yet okay? I want to take
care of you without any interference,’ he said, taking my small hand into his
as if he had just remembered to be loving.
I nodded in the darkness and promised him I would meet him at the field
again the next day at the same time. I was happy again as he kissed me
lightly on the cheek and walked away with a little spring in his step, just like
my own.
In the small house I shared with my mother and younger sister Maria, my
mother was waiting with an angry vein pulsing on her forehead. It pulsed
when Mum got angry and her eyes turned plum red. They were plum red
right now.
It pulsed the hardest I had ever seen the day my nosy neighbor Mama
Pendo told her that my dad was living with a scandalous woman just a few
homesteads away. That day, I thought it would explode and drench my
sister and me in her cold blood.
‘Where were you Mandi,’ she demanded icily ‘How many times have I
warned you not to come into this house late? You better not be messing
around with any of the useless young men in this neighborhood because
you will have only yourself to blame.’
I did not say anything and sat down next to Maria and started helping her
chop the onions she was already struggling with. I did not want to argue
with my mother and spoil the beautiful events of the day. I smiled at Maria
in the poorly lit room, my eyes filled with promises of juicy stories when
Mum was not listening. Maria’s eyes lit up at the unspoken promise.
At 21, I was tired of living a boring life. I had nothing to look forward to
or derive even a little happiness from.
My mother had no money to take me to College because Maria needed to
stay in school. All I did was sit and wait for Mum to give chores for me to
do so that I would not be too idle and allow the devil to work in my mind.
Another devil’s workshop.
My father was broke and still lived with the scandalous woman a few
houses away from ours. I was old enough to know now that scandalous in
this case meant she ran a brothel. He hated us all. One time I bumped into
him at the market and he looked right through me like he had never seen
me. I did not know why and I never bothered to ask.
I wanted to find a way out. I wanted a fancy life like the girls I saw in the
music videos on TV. I wanted a boyfriend to buy me beautiful clothes to
make my curvy body look sexy and show me off to his friends. I wanted a
mobile phone so I could get an Instagram account. I wanted to make
TikTok videos like my cousin Linda had shown me when they visited the
village over Christmas. Maybe they could make me famous. Taji had
money, he would take me away from the miserable village life.
Sometimes he was not in the village. He disappeared for long periods and
then he would suddenly appear. He would be around for a while, looking
neat and handsome, hanging around the shopping center, buying drinks for
his friends who never left his side, and being gorgeously conspicuous. He
was about 25, old enough to take care of me. I would convince him to take
me away from this dreary life.
As I lay next to Maria at night in the small bed, our long slim bodies placed
in a way they had for years every night, I told her all about Taji.
‘He will take me away from here and I will come back for you when you
are done with school, okay,’ I assured my sister as we drifted away to sleep
happily.
I was at the field long before Taji got there. The Maasai blanket wrapped
around me, staring at my reflection in the clear still water. He put his arms
around me and nuzzled my neck as he snuck up on me. I couldn’t believe
this was happening, I had a boyfriend! A hot boyfriend! I smiled as I turned
around to face him, ready to feel his lips on mine. He did not kiss me but
he held my face between his hands.
‘I can’t stay today Mandi, I have to be somewhere in an hour. I brought
you something, a gift as beautiful as you are,’ he said to me with that toothy
grin in full view.
He had a black bag slung on his shoulder, I noticed, as he reached into his
pocket.
It was red with three perfect circles at the back and a dark screen. An
iPhone 13, but I did not know it at the time, all I knew was I had a phone,
finally.
‘I told you I will take care of you, girlfriend,’ he said placing it in my hands,
‘this belongs to you so we can talk anytime.’
I wasn’t sure what excited me more, owning a phone or talking to Taji on it
every day. I didn’t know how I would explain to my mum where I got an
expensive phone from. I would cross that when we got to the bridge. I
would fight her and the pulsing vein if I had to but I was keeping it.
He hurriedly showed me how to use it. He put a little wad of crisp notes in
my hand.
‘Buy yourself something cute so you look good for your boyfriend,’ he said
serving me the dazzling smile again.
I was in disbelief. How did her fortune change overnight? She had never
had more than 500 shillings to her name and now she had a wad of
thousands in her hand. All hers!
‘I need you to do me a small favor,’ he said holding my face in his arms
again, ‘take my bag with you and I will pick it up from you when I am back
in a few days. Keep it safely away so that no one knows where it is.’
Years later, my eyes would well up with tears often, wondering why I did
not bother to ask him what was in it or even break the small padlock and
find out. I skipped home, happy and hopeful, giddy with disbelief. The
taste of new big dreams is heavy on my tongue.
I pushed the bag under our small, rickety bed and covered it with an old
torn curtain. I hid the phone under my pillow as I worked on possible lies
to tell Mum when she discovered it. I kept it on and hoped Taji did not call
before I did. He did not.
Maria was wowed by it as we whispered excitedly in the dark. I showed her
the beautiful crisp notes, twenty thousand in total. I promised to buy her
chocolate and take her swimming with it if she did not tell Mum. We fell
asleep dreaming of the blue swimming pool that only rich, cool kids swam
in.
I was awoken by the sound of the loud knocking on the door.
They put me in handcuffs as my mum and my sister wailed loudly. Flinging
themselves on the floor. The neighbors came in their sleeping clothes, all
traces of sleep swept away by curiosity. It was painful to watch.
I did not cry, I promised myself not to cry as they put the phone in a
plastic bag. I showed them where the bag was and they pulled it out. They
broke the little padlock and out tumbled what seemed like hundreds of
bundles of green notes, dollars.
The man had been killed in a horrific robbery. He was a Canadian
Businessman on his way back to the hotel. The phone signal had been
traced to my house. Taji was nowhere to be seen, I was all alone.
Everything that happened from there was a blur, up until the day my
sentence was read. I got life, for robbery with violence and first-degree
murder.
Nine years of hopeless prison life had done nothing but chip away at my
soul. I was empty inside. Today, a tiny drop of hope flickered in my empty
and dark soul. The President would declare his decision on whether he
would grant me a presidential pardon.
I smoothed down my black and white striped dress and walked out of my
cell.
For the first time in nine years, I prayed.